Office Notice from the Royal Palace at 591 Main Street

Parking Meters Go Cashless on Roosevelt Island Without Further Notice: By Royal Proclamation

Updated 18 weeks ago
Don't believe what the meter says.
Don't believe what the meter says.
© David Stone / Roosevelt Island Daily

Today at 11 hours, 23 minutes and 45 seconds, the Royal Service of Queen Ado Annie, ruler of RIOC, proclaimed:

"On Tuesday, September 10, 2019, all parking meters on Roosevelt Island streets will be converted to a cashless system."

Thoughtfully, in case you're an idiot, it continued, "This means parking meters will no longer be able to accept bills or coins. Only credit cards will be accepted."

But it's all for good cause.

"This transition is part of RIOC’s ongoing commitment to embrace technology that cuts costs and improves efficiency of operations. Going to a cashless system will eliminate the need to regularly remove, transport and count currency from the machines," RIOC's Royal Messenger Service elaborated.

"An overwhelming majority of customers – more than eighty percent (80%) - already use credit or debit cards to pay for street parking, so we expect this to be a seamless transition."

That is, like it or else.

Then, the Common Folk Spoke Up

Since the Royal Palace saw no need to consult with anyone who lives here, several volunteered opinions. And they weren't happy.

"Was it announced at the RIOC Board meeting last Thursday?" one asked. Well, no, as a matter of fact, it wasn't.

"Only credit cards?" That's what Queen Ado Annie's proclamation says, and so... (UPDATE: her royal highness relents, proclaims that debit cards will also not offend the royal values.)

"What about peeps who only have debit cards? Or nothing?" Tough noogies. 

"Less than 24 hrs notice?" We'll let another concerned resident answer that one: "Since none of the RIOC staff pay to park, why should they care?"

"No signage?" Seriously? They can't even get signs up to keep people and wheelchairs out of the street at the 40 River Road construction site?

What are you looking for here? Eggs in your beer?

Some people are never satisfied, and it reminds us that Queen Ado Annie has already spoken on the topic.

Roosevelt Islanders, she's been said to remark, are spoiled.

In other words, it's our fault for expecting too much. 

Hang your heads in shame, Roosevelt Islanders.

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