What To Do When You Run Out of Texts

Sex In Self-Driving Cars?

Updated 9 weeks ago Peter McCarthy
Sex In Self-Driving Cars?

Raise your hand if you've had sex in a car. Nobody can see you but me. Ah, 60%? That's about right. Now, how many of you would, if you could?

The answer is 81% of you say you'd take the leap, given the opportunity. Of course, opportunities would be fewer than that, and some of those would lack appeal. Still, that's a lot of chances to make hay in self-driving cars.

So, just when you've gotten used to swerving to dodge drivers texting their way down the street, self-driving cars are opening up new possibilities for those at the wheel - or not - to evade the drudgery of the road for a shorter period of time than most will admit, having sex while artificial intelligence minds its own business of getting you to your destination.

A Sensible Alternative?

Let's say you've got no choice but to drive up I-95 from DC to New York, escaping the tedium of your job as a congressman to beg for money from Wall Street bankers. Your GPS says it'll take four hours, more or less.

Of course, it takes longer. This is New York. Getting anywhere always takes longer.

You can spend an hour just inching along between purple lines, getting to the toll booths for the Holland Tunnel.

And let's say you've texted everyone you know that isn't looking for a favor, and you're out of DVDs. Or say, neither situation exists. You're just bored from watching New Jersey flash by again. How many times can you appreciate the same refineries?

Would you jump at the opportunity for sex in your self-driving car?

Let's assume you have a compatible and equally liberal minded companion watching New Jersey go by from the passenger seat.

You could read instead...

What's Happening in the Other Lane?

For a Twitter poll reported on in an article in The Daily Dot, 81% of respondents said they would give in to, depending on individual circumstances, temptation or seduction. Anonymously, but still, the odds are high in your favor.

Twitter poll takers probably skew young, and a scientific poll might get a more conservative response. But if you cut the "Yes!" votes in half, 40% still want to have sex in their self-driving cars as the New York skyline looms ever so slowly closer.

(Note: Your mileage may vary, depending on who's riding from DC with you.)

Science Rewards Us With Boundless Possibilities

It's not as strange as you may think.

According the article, there are concept cars that now allow the front seats to be turned around so that they face seats in the back. You can play chess or power down a shared pizza, both of which probably take up more of your time than sex.

Most self-driving cars in concept stages now require a driver to be present as a safety feature in case something goes wrong. There will come a time when that's no longer true and cars, like airplanes, are safer without humans at the controls.

And then...

Those who now text while driving in spite of all the warnings will probably do whatever comes naturally. Self-driving cars may become the status symbol of choice for the young and reckless.

They might also become bordellos on wheels. Pamphlets advertising services along your route may be stocked at rest stops.

Still, experts predict that self-driving cars will decrease (automobile) accidents by 80%, and Nobel Prize winning novelist Saul Bellow in Herzog argued that having sex is an act of good citizenship.

But not necessarily while speeding along I-95 at 70 miles an hour as the Capital's dome recedes in your rear view mirror.

Keep your eyes on the road. For now. Keep a cool bottle of water handy.

 

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