David Stone
Streetline Is Closed/Opened

Uh-oh! "Streetline will be closed due to police activity," the email ominously warned at 7:41 Sunday morning, but not to worry. Just nine minutes later, RIOC's Advisory alert system told us, "Streetline is opened for traffic." What a relief!

So, what the hell is "streetline?"

Early this afternoon, RIOC gave this explanation: "Apparently, Streetline is the west roadway that leads from the subway to Blackwell. It’s the rear of 415 Main Street."

No, that doesn't make any sense either and is news to everyone but whoever sent out the Advisory.

Should we be worried or amused? This isn't something you can blame on autofill or auto correct. 

Actually, as far as we can tell, "streetline" isn't even something.

But wait, there's a tech company, Streetline, that "leverages machine-learning technology to deliver real-time parking availability and parking demand data, accurately and reliably, on- and off-street."

Or, maybe it's Streetline Percussion, a nonprofit in Macon, Georgia.

Or, maybe it's Streetline "sophisticated bags to protect the devices and gear you carry every day."

One thing we know for sure: It was not a mistake. RIOC does not make mistakes.

Conclusion:

Here's our best guess. 

RIOC was pretty much useless for information, but asking around, we found that two things were going on about that time. 

At 7:30-ish, someone reported seeing a person drowning in the West Channel off Roosevelt Island. It appears to have been a false alarm but could have sent a rush of emergency vehicles on Main Street.

And the Roosevelt Islander tells us that, around that time, NYPD was also called in to remove an unruly passenger from the subway at the Roosevelt Island station.

Best guess: Someone at PSD - they handle RIOC alerts during off-hours -- heard that the "E Line" was shutdown and made a simple mistake, a harmless goof. But we will never know for sure because RIOC, the State agency that never makes a mistake, prefers inventing a "Streetline" that never existed before, after the fact, than simply saying "Oops!"

Their record of perfection remains unblemished.